Why Men Are Never Depressed!

Men Are Just Happier People!

– What do you expect from such simple creatures?

– Your last name stays put.

– The garage is all yours.

– Wedding plans take care of themselves.

– Chocolate is just another snack…

– You can be President.

– You can never be pregnant.

– You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

– You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

– Car mechanics tell you the truth.

– The world is your urinal.

– You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

– You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

– Wrinkles add character.

– Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

– People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

– Phone conversations are over in 60 seconds flat.

– You know stuff about tanks.

– You can open all your own jars.

– You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

– If someone forgets to invite you,

– He or she can still be your friend.

– Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

– You almost never have strap problems in public.

– You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

– Everything on your face stays its original color.

– The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

– You only have to shave your face and neck.

– You can play with toys all your life.

– One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.

– You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

– You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.

– You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Weirdo, Bro’ness or Wildman.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

9 comments to Why Men Are Never Depressed!

  • Janis Cox  says:

    Hi,

    Dropping over from The Pink Mama. My husband and I really enjoyed these. I read them to him. He especially liked the “little people in the house”.

    Blessings,
    Janis

  • Mrs. Match  says:

    LOL, I love this, especially the offspring part. Cracked me up. The jar thing is so dead on. I have had to change entire meal plans when I’m cooking alone because I couldn’t open the damn jar! Oh, and my husband took MY last name. WIN!!

  • Crystal Green  says:

    I totally love this. 🙂 I have to agree with what you wrote as well.

  • posh  says:

    That is too funny- and true.

    Stopping by from the weekend blog hop to say hello.

    POSH

  • Janis Cox  says:

    Good humour but really I love my man and wouldn’t trade him for anyone else – and that’s after 41 years of marriage.
    Blessings and linking from the Pink Mama.
    Janis

  • Paula  says:

    visiting and following from GYB hop

    come visit ~ Paula

  • sarah elizabeth  says:

    Hardly fair eh?

  • Cinthya  says:

    This is too funny and so true. Thanks for linking to Anything Goes At Eye Heart Monday’s. Have a great week. 🙂

  • sara  says:

    hahaha, so many of these are pretty accurate.

    cute!

    what a fun blog! looking forward to reading more :]

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